Speculative Leaps: If I Were in Your Mind Dad

A Baby

Everything will be fine, just go back to sleep, little one, rocking up and down, side to side," says Dad's tender voice at 3 AM when Mom is so tired she just wishes for a few more minutes to rest before waking up at 5 AM, having barely slept at all.

Look at that handsome, smiley little boy; he just has a great smile every time he wakes up, such a happy boy. So thankful for our family.

It's just 5 AM. Who is in the kitchen? Again! Oh man, that's just cold rice. What's wrong with this little one? Ha! Well, at least he won't starve.

A Boy

I mean, it's a little weird, he just plays with insects, frogs, and microscopes. He comes back from school with fruit punch juice all over his uniform, broken pants, and shoes! (First day of school)

Professor "Bocho" was my science teacher as well when I was a kid, and now he's organizing a science competition, and he wants our son to participate. What an opportunity to make him proud twice for the price of one! What shall we do?... I want to build a robot!... Sure, no problem, let's move all the Panama Canal electric division, and machine shop, and buy all kinds of cool gadgets. Third place, and we made it to the news.

Look son, when I was in high school, I remember Professor "Calle" pulled me aside and talked to me about that Afro long hair, big orange glasses, and some of my friendships. It wasn't about the looks or what other people think; it was about the fruits he was starting to see, and he called me up to do better, to dress better, and to stay away from bad influences. I am thankful he did, so you pay attention to those things as well.

He is following the same trajectory as his brother and sister. I am sure it's normal, but will this change soon enough? They just keep finding ways to push me and you away from their day-to-day. When they are parents, they may understand, but it's heartbreaking. At the same time, we need to give them space and be there for them.

A Young Man

He is now in university, grades are not so good. He spent part of the money from the student loan on a computer sound card; he doesn't even have the right equipment to use that card... We were working on the boat, he told me voluntarily, which was good. But I am worried about that decision-making.

I am so proud of them; they are putting a lot of effort into that race. I will always be there for them, need to find ways to be there because these kids always find ways to do things on their own. That's parenting life.

They are champions now. I am worried about how much time they are putting into this sport, but man, what a commitment. I became part of the club, started a business with them, and put the time I didn't have available to be there. I know they appreciate this, just a bit worried because I know they do, but it does not come out of their mouth. Still, I am having a great time with them both.

Some years have gone by; they are definitely great human beings and great sons... we did well. Now they have their own business, not sure if it will work, but I again will be there and give them all I have, be there for them, and support them.

So proud of what you all have made, but you know responsibilities are rising up, and you need to make a call soon enough about this business. We all see how far you all have come, but what about future families? You all are not in your low 20's anymore.

A Family Man

Dad: So what about that girl?

Son: What girl?

Dad: The one you took to your friend's birthday; your sister told me, she was there.

Son: ... (This is awkward.) I am not used to talking about my feelings, but will keep you posted.

I love that girl; I think she is special and a good fit for our boy. I hope he doesn't end up living too far away, but he likes adventure and she does as well, so we better prepare ourselves if this gets serious.

I am part of the boys' club, hanging out with my son on the day of the wedding, throwing some fireworks, washing his feet like Jesus did, and I am seeing him becoming a family man.

A Grandpa

Now I am a grandparent, that little girl is so cute. The pandemic does not make it easy to get together as often, but we got to make the best out of our time. This disease I have, I am worried how long I will be able to enjoy them all.

We are spending great times; we are talking about many things we never did and having a great time together. Breakfast at a local cafe or at the house, it doesn't matter as long as we spend time together.

Why would God allow that new little baby to be in such a bad condition? I do not understand, but I will pray like I have never done before. God can save that little boy.

He saved him! Such a happy boy, looking forward to seeing him grow!

They are leaving, my love; they will move to the USA. We will be forever forgotten.

Okay, they are coming back; that's a good sign. Maybe they will make an effort to be present even if they are not here. It hurts, but I understand.

I am so many times in this hospital bed, so many things failing at the same time; I just want my family here, all of them.

He is here; we both shed some tears inwardly, I am sure. Gosh, I am so happy to see him and have him here. Wish the kids were here too.

He just talked to me about my final moments; I know it's coming, but I will fight. I want to see them all more; God, spare me this cup, but let your will be done.

A New Home

I am so proud of you; that's not me anymore, you can let go. Thank you for holding me up...

God, I am not with them anymore, but I am so thankful I am with you now; all pain is gone. He was there all the way, I know; it's confusing, but all that pain seems like it never was. I will enjoy your presence now and forever more. I will join you in prayer here from my new home until one day they all either come here to this heavenly home, or we will meet them at Your return.

Love you, Dad. I am sure I do not do justice to all the awesome thoughts you had about me. Good night; see you in the morning.

J

Now it's time for you to go and grab a cup of coffee with your old man. Time does not go back; it just carries you forward.