The 11th Hour - Come Home Baby "B"
As a parent, your heart moves at the heartbeat of your kids. If they hurt, you hurt. Today marks the day 20 since the birth of my son, little "B." He was in ICU most of the time until he was moved to intermediate care and is now finally in minimal care. Can't wait for him to come home.
I was waking up from a very restful night when my wife told me she had just broke water. There is the moment when new dads typically go into action mode. For me, this was my second, and I was super relaxed. We just packed up and went to the hospital, having no worries and looking forward to meeting our son, Little "B".
The labor was much smoother than the previous one, yet not free of the anguish and pain connecting Mama and Baby in a unique bond like nothing else.
From the moment you see your wife going from zero to hero delivering your child, you realize how much you owe your mother and, even more important, that your wife is the strongest person you will ever know.
Little did we know of the test coming to us; little "B" was born with an infection that attacked his lungs. After a brief time with us in the delivery room, he went directly to the ICU, where he stayed for about two and a half weeks in a very critical condition with all kinds of tubes and connections. Like a fighter, he spent another couple of days in intermediate care and is finally about to come home. We are ready to love, snuggle, and introduce him to his sister, Little "E".
Facing the idea of losing your child is something I had just seen from the other side of the fence with friends and family, but never with my kid. The fear that grips your heart is like none other.
The Crushing Weight Of Waiting
Right now, I am in the 11th hour; the most challenging part is waiting and trusting God for him to be home. Little "B" is already well and should be dismissed very soon, so I have no reason to be afraid, but the waiting is the crushing weight that makes me anxious. Even when all seems OK, I still feel like the whole world is on pause until he is safely home with us.
Herein lies the reason for the testing of our faith. It is meant to make us aware of our limitedness and dependency on others when we have no control, just hoping for a particular outcome.
Some may have faith in nature, doctors, and science; we all walk daily, making decisions based on some degree of faith. I am most certainly grateful for all the excellent personnel that has supported my baby's life. But when life is not guaranteed, and there is not much to do, you realize you are utterly helpless. At this point, you also realize that hope in mere humans falls short of the longing for the breakthrough that cries out within your heart.
There is just One who has met death and come back alive, and setting your hope in Him is worth it. He meets us in our desperation and longing in a way that no one or anything else can. He is above all other hope, Jesus Christ.
Here is the actual test while you are on your last stretch: while you have decided to trust Jesus, you can not control him. Things may or may not turn out the way you want. However, you can trust His character revealed in His Word and His never-ending love. So even if things take a dire turn, He is still God and the living definition of love. He desires just as much, and even more to be with me and you as I desire to be with Little "B".
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)
Javier Feliú
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Until the next one,
Javier
